The Refining Day 1: Ash Wednesday

Hi, there.

It’s been awhile.

It’s been awhile since my hand seamlessly flowed across paper, pulling the thoughts that bounce around my mind into seamless strands of allegories and imagery. What I’m saying is., I’ve been a writer who doesn’t write. Can I even call myself a writer anymore? Well, hopefully the next 40 days can change that.

I, like many others, let the noise of the world drown out any opportunity for creativity. Netflix, Instagram, Tik Tok…screens, screens, screens!

And because I write exclusively nonfiction, aka the gritty, dirty, beautiful parts of real life, I have to face myself to write. There is something terrifying about sitting down, in the silence, and letting emotions from parts of our minds we usually shove behind aimless scrolling and the latest Netflix series arise to consciousness. If I have to face myself, I have to face my brokenness. Roll it around in my hands, let it graze against my palms and stain my skin.

But Lent is a time to face our brokenness, to explore the deepest, darkest parts of ourselves. To see just why we need a Savior. And to let him shine his healing light. It is only though exposing our brokenness to his light that we find freedom, that we find healing.

We cannot heal ourselves. We must walk, hand in hand with our Savior, allowing him to lead us on the journey. Allowing him to refine us, with whatever means he finds necessary. It’s not always painless.

As Flannery O’Connor says, “This notion that grace is healing omits the fact that before it heals, it cuts with the sword Christ said He came to bring.”

So, welcome to “The Refining,” where I will write everyday a little bit about how God is purifying me throughout this Lenten Season, in both beautiful and painful ways.